Sunday, October 27, 2013

Hi I'm Jessica, Army Wife....?

I've put off starting this blog because it's supposed to be about my life as an Army Wife- how I perceived it would be, and how it actually is-- but to tell you the truth, I haven't felt like an army wife at all, and I'm having an identity crisis.

In the two weeks I've been married, I have mostly lived in a hotel room with a crap of a gym three hours away from my new husband and cat. I still work in advertising (freelancing). And I still am more rowdy than an Officer's wife should probably be (I really need to work on my Sailor's mouth).

This is not what I envisioned.

I can't say I'm totally sad because a lot of what I pictured had to do with me being shunned and gossiped about by other women, and having virtually no friends.

But, I also saw myself refurnishing furniture and DIY projects, cooking new Paleo dishes, creating cocktails with Joel, training for races, lifting weights, studying to be a personal trainer, and falling asleep by my husband every night--all of which I had been very much looking forward to and what I planned on basing this blog off of.

Instead, I'm half a state away living a totally separate life 4 days a week, and "vacationing" at home for 3. Not super army-wifeish to me, and besides the weekend not much different than living in Chicago. It seemed like there was no point in writing the blog.

Then I was reminded I had never planned on being the typical Army Wife, which was why I had wanted to start this blog in the first place-- I wanted to define myself, not by what my husband's job is, but what I do. It doesn't mean that I don't respect the military and their spouses, or I'm unappreciative and don't think this life isn't tough. I just fear my life revolving around only that.

I never want to be one of those people who writes "Works at U.S. ArmyWife" on Facebook because that feels insignificant. Like my husband and his job are all there is to me.  I want, when I introduce myself, to belong to me.

Hi, I'm Jessica. Crazy writer lady.

Hi, I'm Jessica. The loud girl with the hair.

Hi, I'm Jessica. Amazing trainer that made you lose 10 pounds and toned your butt.


Hi, I'm Jessica. Wife of the awesome blackhawk pilot.

Though I could deal with

Hi, I'm Jessica. Wife of the dude with the awesome bar with four homebrews on draft.

That I can do. Because I can say "Have you tried the Apfelwein I made? IT'S FREAKING DELISH and 11% alcohol. You wouldn't even know. Careful now, it'll knock you on your ass."

So, it's time to start the blog. No matter where I'm living, or what I'm doing, because this is what an Army Wife is to me- because right now, I big part of who I am is still a Copywriter, a Creative, and an advertiser-- and it's important I remember that.

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