Fart Noises: How to Find Friends Part 1

One of the things I've had the most anxiety about becoming an Army Wife is making friends. For years I've been surrounded by a lot of other like minded weirdos, so it's been rather easy for me. Between advertising and Hash House Harriers, we're a relatively young crowd  physically if not mentally--and our humor is of a special sort.

Just look at this group of nut jobs I enjoy hanging around with.

I needed a full proof plan to find people who embrace my wacky ways, and I don't want to waste time on anybody who's easily offended or grossed out. And I found my answer in my last few weeks working in Chicago.

One day when walking by my senior art director's desk I dropped a pen on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up he let out a big, disgusting THHHHHHHPPPPPPPP and everybody around us, including myself, busted into laughter.

And, apparently I'm not the only one who's fallen victim to Mr. S. He preys on anybody who has to bend over to pick things up, and picks out a fart noise that is absolutely the opposite of what he thought would come out of them.

That night, I couldn't help thinking about the magic of the fart noise. When it happens, you have no time to react. You either laugh or you are disgusted, and it's impossible to hide. It's a perfect way to instantly figure out someone's sense of humor. I just need to find the perfect venue to try it out. And no, Dear Husband, I promise not to do it at the Marine Corps Ball, as funny as it would be with everybody dressed to the nines.

It might seem rather crude and un-ladylike, behavior not becoming of an officer's wife, but I'm not looking for friends to sit around at a ball with, sip tea, or gossip with. I'm looking for people who are light hearted, funny, intelligent, adventurous and a good time. Fart noises might not figure all that out, but it'll definitely weed out all the tight-asses.