RUNNING AWAY FROM RUNNING

Yesterday I sat in the hotel room watching a 1000lb+ person in bed  on TV and feeling just as large and immobile. Even though I worked out I felt lazy and gross because I didn't run.

Running used to be my happy place, and my solace. I looked forward to it every day. During marathon training when I did those 16-22 milers it was tough but I was always happy once I got going.

For some reason I just can't get up the motivation anymore. 3 miles feels like freaking forever. When I used to do 10 a few times a week no problem, it makes me feel like a pansy.

The thing I like about running is the ability to constantly improve and see the progress. With Personal Records, there are things to conquer. And conquering is something I like to do. I'm a competitive person and in my brain I compete in almost everything. When I run on a well traversed path I call it "Lions and Gazelles" and consider everyone in front of me prey, counting the people I pass and silently laughing evily inside as I go by.

Weird? Yes. Nice? Probably not. Whatever. It's motivating! What happens when I get passed on the path you say? Well that doesn't happen often. Because that's what it's like to be AWESOME. BWHAHAHAHAHA.

This is me. At work. In a snuggy. Now there is no reason to doubt my awesomeness. 

Anyway, Lions And Gazelles doesn't do it for me anymore. Especially since, do to lack of practice, I've become slower and being someone else's Gazelle doesn't appeal to me.

I need a new activity. The problem is that when you're almost 29 years old, it's hard to pick up a new sport. It's not like I can join a soccer or LaCross team. Imagine all the swearing directed at me. I can barely walk without falling on my face and now there's a ball I'm supposed to hit with my feet?! Even if I wanted to play soccer, that would take decades of practice that frankly I don't have.  It'd end up like 2nd grade when my parents enrolled me in AYSO soccer and I sat as Goalie or defense picking flowers/getting hit in the face with the ball.

Because at 7 I didn't know swear words yet. 

Unlike running, sports like soccer and lacrosse take a team to help you get better, and it's harder to see improvement. There's not really "milestones."

Right now I do Crossfit, which has PRs and you can see a lot of improvment- but while I'm interested in getting strong I'm not interested in getting bulky. Also, it's not a competitive sport, it's a tool that helps me run and swim faster, and not suck at the bike so much. I find it enjoyable, but it's not the end all be all and the Crossfit Games are never something I'll do.

Recently, drinking by our fire pit at 3am with a friend of hubbys, it was suggested that I try rock climbing. The great thing about the military so far is the free gym, and now the free climbing wall. I already have a harness from my first and last mountain climbing expedition, strong legs are key, and it's something I can work to get better at on my own or with a friend.

I'm going to head to the climbing wall this friday and check it out. Maybe this will be the answer to my problem- not to mention with all the climbing around El Paso it'll give me something fun to do, and a way to make friends outside the military (which is something I always look for).

The second thing I'm looking into is Muah Thai which is essentially kickboxing. I once dated a boxer and those work outs are TOUGH. The only problem I foresee is that I once did Karate and I didn't do so well. I tend to be very passive aggressive and it takes a lot, or alcohol, to get me going. Also fighting is not something I'm good at.

Sadly I'm not even kidding. Although I'm not afraid to bite. 

Senior year of high school this girl wanted me to leave a party because I was talking to her ex-boyfriend (even though my boyfriend was at the party too). She threatened me and said to leave but I'm a stubborn pain int he ass and I didn't. She made good on her threat and punched me. We were split apart immediately but if nobody had grabbed her I would have ran away. Also, I'm a pansy, and I cried (later, out of sight- I have a little bit of dignity).

Getting punched and kicked doesn't seem fun- but punching and kicking of course does. It's something to try and who knows, it may come in handy one day. After all, I'd rather get a punch in the face than be involved in a hair pulling cat fight.

If anybody else as any ideas, feel free to add!