Monday, December 9, 2013


On the Army Wife 101 facebook page, wives often discuss how they aren't making friends. It can be hard, I know, but luckily I know the right place to go, no matter where I am. It's also been my saving grace moving to Fort Rucker when I married my Army hubby and working in Birmingham during the week. Step in, The Hash House Harriers.

If you are a military wife and you want to meet other people in the area, puhlease, go to at least three of these. I guarantee even if you don't like it, you WILL make AH friend.


In Finding Friends Part 1, I discussed how to tell whether a person has your humor by utilizing fart noises. Here's something better- join a drinking club with a running problem. They will laugh at your fart noises every time.

But let's backtrack.

If you move around, travel for work or pleasure, and aren't a stick in the mud, then you absolutely must seek this group out.


An international group in most cities and every military base (yes even around the world. My husband starting going to his in Russia, and I know several people who started in Korea). You pay a cheap sum of money, usually 5-10$, for a decent if not excessive quantity of alcohol and a good time. If you don't want to drink (or drink much) you don't have to, but I certainly don't see why not.

The "Hares" or trail leaders, lay a trail by making marks with flour, which the pack of runners decipher, follow, and inevitabley leads to beer or other goodies.

Here's Wiki if you really need it. 

BN= Beer Near
T/E = Turkey Eagle Split. Turkey is an easier trail, Eagle is for the bad asses
--l-l-l-->  = True Trail, you're right on
YBF = You've been F*cked. We led you down a wrong path
O = the trail can go in 369 degrees, etc.
There are stops along the way where everyone gathers for a drink, and then you continue on until you reach the end of the trail which has more beer.

I know it sounds hard involving running and beer, but if people are doing it
while they're drinking how difficult can it really be. 

Going to a hash is a break from life. It's an opportunity to let loose, meet interesting people and have a good time.

It's a great way to learn a new city, or find places in an old city you never knew about. Each trail is led by a different hasher, and following them- or making your own trail, can lead to amazing discoveries.

After living in Seattle for a year, I had no idea this park, and amazing view, was
only blocks away from my apartment until I hared my first trail. 

It's also a fantastic way to find new activities and bars- besides yelp. There's always an "On-After" and often it's at a different place, since you're always in a new area of town.
This gathering happens the first Tuesday of
the month outside The Plaza Bar
Hashing on a Tues. With the Vulcan
H3 in Birmingham  we can across these

Boys can wear dresses without shame. There's several charity runs, like the Red Dress  Run (The New Orleans Red Dress draws around 10k annually), the Green Dress, etc, where all the profits go to charity. And what's funnier than a bunch of dudes running around the city in a dress? Tip: Ladies, if you meet a guy comfortable enough to do this, you should snatch him up. Confidence is a great feature in a dude. 
Seattle Red Dress Run 2011 Front Runners

Also, it's kind of exercise.

A Chicago Thristday Hash Trai. 3 Miles, 3 Beer stops. 
Some people walk, some people run, some people jog. The trails vary in length, but it's as much of a "work out" as you want it. Or don't, whatever. Because we're in it for beers and camaraderie dirty jokes and even dirtier songs. 

Did I mention guys get to wear kilts? We love kilts. 


Holy cow the people. They are from every walk of life you can imagine. Rich, poor, cell phone fixers, doctors, advertisers, therapists, cooks, bamboo fence and furniture builders, military etc. People have a zillion different interests from brewing to cycling to gaming to you name it. 

Everyone is there to let loose. You know, no matter what hash you go to, they are there for a good time, friendship, and will always help you out. If you make fart noises when someone bends over, they will likely laugh.

On that note, you can't be easily offended. If you are, this isn't the place for you (Hence saying you need to be "FUN" above.) And there is a lot of offensive, but funny stuff.

We are jokers. These are things we tell each other often. 
The network is amazing. If you're traveling, odds are one hasher will know another in that city, if not a non hasher who will hook you up with crash space. And if you don't need it, they will be your tour guides. 

INSTANT FRIENDS. I have no idea why there aren't more military wives that do this. There's always a hash around military bases. It's amazing.

When I moved to Seattle I only knew my Dad's friend/old boss and his wife. They sent me to a hash trail, and I made my first and best friends in Seattle (not to mention it's where I met my husband).

When I moved to Chicago, the hashers instantly set me up. I was invited to parties and happy hour, for runs and other activities. Then came Fort Rucker and Birmingham, and I'm sure by now you get the point.

And of course, the very first thing I did when I found out I was going to Fort Bliss was look up the Hash there- the Border Jumpers. 

After a year in Seattle, all of these people through me a goodbye party. They are all hashers. 


Hare: Trail leader

Hounds/Pack: The runners

Kennel: The "group" or club" for instance, Seattle has several Kennels- The Seattle Hash House Harriers, Rain City (only hashes the last sunday of every month, usually out of the city), No Balls (The all-girls, once monthly hash) etc. And each one has their own logo, patches, and "mis management"

Shiggy: Going off trail, or off side walk. My favorite trails and shiggyfilled. Unfortunately it depends on the Kennel you are at, because downtown Chicago you're not likely to find a lot of that. However, the more creative the Hare, the more likely you'll have something interesting. I've had "shiggy" that went under bushes and had people climbing over walls.

You don't wear new shoes for 2 reasons:
1) Shiggy. I have gone up rivers, through mud, forests, floated rivers, and mountains. It's awesome.
 2) By wearing a new shoe you are in violation and must drink your beer. 

ON-ON!- You'll hear this screamed from all directions on trail. It means they have found the correct trail (maybe)

Racist: No, you don't wear white pointy hats. If you're a racist, that means you like running, and probably run outside the hash. I'm a racist because I enjoy being FRB or FBI (Front Running Bastard/First Bimbo In) and thus race in the hash, run regularly and do races. You might be accused of racism and have to drink if you wear racist attire, such as a 5k shirt.

Nerd Name: Your real name is your nerd name. Because the group was originally founded by British Marines and there is a rule where enlisted cannot fraternize with officers, everyone gets nick names. After you've been hashing and done something stupid/funny, the group circles up and gives you a new name.

The naming of Aquaharious, a Vulcan Hasher.
You can ask her why she was named that.
Here I am "Christening" her with her hash name. 

IN CLOSING- I don't know why more military wives don't do this. Aside from the kids, and the husband getting deployed and that being possible "bad news" if you can't control yourself, and being easily offended and all. Whatever, if you can get crazy wasted and the marine corp ball and dance on a table, then you can hash.

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